We all carry .... masks.
And ... we have all sorts of masks.
But ... of course we don't really like such theories.
Of course ... we can tell about the others ... that they maybe act like actors ... interpreting certain roles ... but not about us.
Never.
I am the same.
I try to be nice.
... diplomatic.
And ... it is not that i pretend ... cause i don't really feel i do that.
No ...
But ... it is more about how much i can control my behaviour on the stage of life.
I even trend to believe that i am playing... consciously and unconsciously.
Yes ...
When all is ok ... i can decide myself how i act ... but when
under the influence of very tough energies ... all is changed.
I simple can't control myself.
And ... totally change my behaviour ... acting in ways ... which i was not even aware of.
I look ... like being afraid ... dominated by illusory fears.
My jealousy ... makes me act illogically ... doing lots of stupid things.
Becoming nervous ... i start screaming ... telling things which i totally regret later.
So ... bottomline ... i act totally different than usual ... but having no real control on myself.
I dislike it ... but those things happened so, so many times that clearly proves that ... i have ... but also not really have control on my being.
Of course .... I know that i am conscious ... but also dominated by the unconscious.
It all reveals ... all the masks which i am wearing ... but I've started to be afraid of all what is going on.
Afraid ... that randomly ... it can happen that i come again into a point when i am not having control on my being.
Acting weird.
... irresponsible.
Irritated ... but very stupid.
So ... it is all about the circumstances.
But ... i am happy i can admit ... i don't really have full control on my life.
And ... maybe all is normal.
... happening to all of us.
I know it's annoying.
... cause all happens randomly ... not really giving us
the chance to clearly see and understand ... certain situations.
But ... being part of normality, realising that passing certain boundaries .... all suddenly change ... and maybe not in good ... we realise we need time to meditate more.
Ask ... why?!
I've done that.
… many times.
But ... I've understood it is all related with my ability of being conscious ... and stop my unconscious.
Or maybe it is all about being ... or not being connected to the real self.
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